4 stars

We turn the corner, the gray lake at Canada Water still at the back of our minds. It’s pouring it down, and the group consensus is that we won’t miss the outside world for the next 10 hours. We’re going into the void. That is how every new Printworks adventure feels.

I’m not explicitly blaming TfL for missing Virginia’s solo set. Actually, I am. So first up is Ryan Elliot, who wears a turtleneck-ish sweater and a long camel coat. Suave. Only a few of us groove on the 2 pm dancefloor - a fact foreshadowed by the lack of hysterical queueing for security. Some guys solicit the illicit from me. It means my outfit is on point. The Detroit-cum-Berliner’s beats grab my feet. In some ways this is the best part of the party. The floor is empty. It is ours.

Following Mr. Elliot is Éclair Fifi, whose coat game is nonexistent, but excels in every other way. Starting with some incredibly pungent basslines, she slowly reels us in with her unorthodox beats. When you expect a break, she leaves you hanging; when you least expected it, she grabs you by the collar. Techno that keeps you guessing makes for some very enjoyable dancing.

Having missed out on Virginia alone, we got to see her in action B2B with Mr. curator himself, Denis Sulta, in the dark room tucked away at the back of the behemoths that are the press halls. The overarching sensation in the overflowing low-ceilinged room is dankness. Green neon lights, air saturated with sweat, marauding 4x4: what a treat!

We had to duck out quite quickly as the big guns began to roll out in the proverbial hull of the battle ship of the press halls. Todd Terje was the perfect appetizer. Piano riffs that could resurrect a pagan, morphing into synths that then carry him into heaven. He played Whitney’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody but avoided his own bangers – alas no Inspector Norse.

What followed was constant commuting between Serbian queen Tijana T dropping bombs in her mini skirt and high heels (Balkans represent!) in the big hall and techno prodigy Leo Pol killing it in the little cave at the back. Having seen him at a fairly lighthearted house set the day before at Mixmag’s Lab, I was completely enamoured. Definitely one to watch.

Finally, the highlights of the night. Main course number one being Gerd Jansen. The Gentleman of House did not live up to his name. He was an absolute naughty boy, causing a ruckus on the dancefloor, with dancers in drag spicing things up on platforms both sides of the aisle. It was sumptuous mixing and, as with his MAGICAL Sugar Mountain set, he managed to squeeze in KK’s Neutron Dance (even if just the bass). The lights also deserve a shoutout. It was at this point that the pulley system holding them up went wild, giving us the impression that we’re all speeding down an airport runway.

And take off we did. Denis brought it all. Disregarding all conventions, he opened with Queens of the Stone Age’s You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar, and carried the screaming vibe into some of the best techno I’ve heard in a while. After spinning a few of his own tracks and giving a heartfelt little speech about the importance of club culture, he shocked everyone by ending with a little medley of noughties bangers, including Dizzee Rascal and Fergie. His confidence was astounding, even if the music selection was a bit unforeseen. He can’t be shackled, and it seems as though his star will only keep on rising.