Dear Readers, I bring to you a little known secret. Writing in the dark of night while someone left the Felix closet unlocked, this London-dwelling resident can finally reveal it to you. Have you been salivating over your next piece of chocolate, only to be deterred by high prices and substandard chocolate coins? Look no further, for I have the secret to your salvation.
For the next two weekends, the influx of the nasty mini handout bars will abate, and prices of normal bars will come down. NOW is the time to buy. Halloween is over; there are no frantic parents looking for their child’s next sugar high. The horrific price gauging we have been experiencing for the last month is going to see a “throwback”, if you will, to summertime prices for a limited time – just until about mid November. Why, you ask? Well, I have 5 years of experience shopping through Asda, Lidl and Tesco shelves as a teen looking for their next sugar hit. That means I can tell you mid-November is when the money-grabbing, holiday-profiteering supermarkets start advertising Advent calendars (just more overpriced chocolate that has probably melted twice before reaching shelves).
After the Advent calendars come the price hikes in fancy chocolate. Now, as people visit family over the years’ end, they tend to be forced into buying holiday packs, specially designed to hold as little chocolate as possible while still advertising the holiday. It appears extracting money for overpriced chocolate is not exactly profitable (I’m not buying 273 grams of chocolate for £7!), so supermarkets then take the initiative to hike up prices for ordinary, normal chocolate during this season. These hiked up prices remain throughout the Christmas month and through to January for the office New Year Parties. There is no drop in prices despite the general resolutions of “getting healthy” and “not eat as much chocolate”, because we all know that Valentines’ Day is just ‘round the corner. Now, you may feel that Valentines’ Day doesn’t apply to you, but who doesn’t want chocolate when your mates are getting their girls chocolate left AND right? Exactly.
In conclusion, the juicy little secret I wish to impart is that the supermarket powers come together in this glorious 3-month period to gain as much profit as possible, preying on the sweet teeth of the poor student looking to just get through to March. If you were me, you would already have gotten your box of chocolate supplies to last you until then. If not, this may very well be your last chance to ensure you have the money to be passed out in a haze of chocolate and sugar as Home Alone comes on the TV and still have heating for the winter.