Yes it’s a Game of Thrones reference, I need something to fill the void until the next season. But even that isn’t enough, so it got me thinking. Maybe I should try this swordplay thing? And where better than IC’s Fencing team? You will have read about their continued success in previous editions but I’m not one to just read about sports: I went. It’s been a busy day, deadlines to meet, papers to read and a thesis that apparently won’t write itself. Needless to say, me with a weapon may be a safety issue.

I went along to a Monday night social session, where beginners can come along and be taught the basics by experienced members of the club. I’m welcomed by the President who, after the promise of biscuits to come, introduced me to the poor fellow whose job it is to run me through the background and basics. We start with a short warm up, essentially a glorified keep-away which is entertaining and accentuates the quick footwork I’ll be requiring later on in the session. Whilst the rest of the beginners continue their warm ups, I’m taken away to expand on that footwork.

What followed was a whistle-stop-tour of fencing terms (all French, few remembered). Feet must be positioned perpendicularly, lead with the dominant foot but lunge from the rear, legs bent and no room to take the Piste (fencing pun intended). I get a sense of the many years of history behind the sport, where traditions of duelling are ingrained into each fencer. My trainer, Filip, is clearly enthusiastic and explains each element of the sport with gusto and clarity. Around us, the members of the IC team are battling away in one of three weapons: sabre, foil and épée. IC’s success with this particular sport comes as no surprise with constant encouragement and advice exchanged between opponents.

The time comes for me to wade into a fight of my own. One thing you should know about me, I would not hurt a fly. Correction, I could not hurt a fly. I’d happily let it take my lunch money then complete any of its outstanding homework. Needless to say, this would be interesting. I’m given some club-owned equipment, which is provided free for trainees. This is a massive advantage for those wanting to try fencing out, a sport which could set someone back a few hundred pounds if you decide to invest in your own kit. The accessibility is impressive, but I’m just delaying the inevitable participation. I put on my mask, a fetching jacket and am handed an épée. I looked good. Épée is a thrusting weapon (calm down) and so the point acts as a button allowing a hit on any part of the body to count. Guess it was a bad day to wear shorts and forget a cup.

I’m thrown straight in against a member who promises he’ll go easy on me. I clumsily salute, struggle to get my mask on over my glasses and enter the En Garde position. We begin, I attempt to remember footwork, but my opponent strikes a point while I’m looking at my feet. I concentrate on keeping the sword tip correctly positioned and he strikes my legs. It’s safe to say I closely resembled an inebriated man squaring up to a lamppost. My opponent continues to score multiple points without batting an eyelid but I persevere. Some feigned attacks and lunges (helped by my six foot height) score me a couple of well placed points and I start to find a rhythm with the defensive and offensive flow, a natural characteristic of the sport. I lose 5-3 but I find myself wanting to hone my skills and try the other weapons out, but alas my time is up. I thoroughly enjoyed my time as a fencer and I encourage you to join the club which has a strong roster of experienced members on hand. There’s a gentlemanly manner to the sport you wouldn’t see in most sports and a constant stream of hints and tips to help members advance their ability. Yes you need money for equipment, but the club helps you out. Yes it requires expertise but there are plenty around who can help you out. Yes you get to attack fellow students without repercussion but … OK, that’s a good point but hopefully you get the idea. If you ever fancy giving Fencing a go, get in touch with the club via the union website. En Garde!