Overall, 62% of us are ‘happy’ or ‘very happy’ with our sex lives at Imperial. Only 21% reported that they were ‘unhappy’ or ‘very unhappy’ (sorry folks), while 15% didn’t feel one way or the other.

The remaining 2% did not wish to say how they felt – so it’s anyone’s guess why they’re filling out a student sex survey.

Breaking the figures down by the sexuality of respondents revealed some interesting trends in our levels of sexual satisfaction.

72% of those identifying as asexual said they were ‘happy’ or ‘very happy’ with their sex lives, with only 14% ‘unhappy’ or ‘very unhappy’.

Bisexuals were the second happiest, with 71% reportedly ‘happy’ or ‘very happy’ and only 21% ‘unhappy’ or ‘very unhappy’.

Next most satisfied were the heterosexuals, 64% of whom were on the happy end of the spectrum, while 21% again were ‘unhappy’ or ‘very unhappy’.

Meanwhile, only 54% of Imperial’s homosexuals were ‘happy’ or ‘very happy’ with their sex lives, and this time 23% not happy – perhaps due to the relatively low number of gay and lesbian students at Imperial (only 8% of us according to this year’s survey).

Looking at gender, 73% of Imperial women were ‘happy’ or ‘very happy’ with their sex life at the moment, compared to just 58% of the men.

Similarly the ‘unhappy’ and ‘very unhappy’ students accounted for 17% of the girls and 24% of guys. So nearly 1 in 4 blokes aren’t being satisfied at Imperial – sorry lads.

Comparing the happiness figures by department with the total number of respondents from that department, it looks like Medicine are overrepresented in the ‘very unhappy’ category with a whopping 23% of them identifying as such when just 15% of total respondents were Medics.

Life Sciences were also less than satisfied, making up 23% of the ‘unhappy’ category yet only 17% of total respondents.

Meanwhile Physics were underrepresented here, with only 10% ‘very unhappy’, and the rest slightly more likely than average to be in the happy categories. Physicists made up 17% of total survey respondents. You go, Physicists.

Maths were doing well too, as just 6% of total respondents with 9% of all those students self-reporting as ‘very happy’ with their sex lives.

But is Imperial affecting your chances of sexual satisfaction? Or vice versa, is your sex life impacting on your studies? Well, a significant proportion of you – 44% – don’t really think coming to Imperial has affected your sex life at all.

30% of students felt that Imperial has had a positive effect on their sex life, whilst 24% of you felt that there was an overall negative effect on your sexual satisfaction. Not enough time spent in Metric, or too much perhaps?

Speaking of Metric, do Imperial students feel like they have enough time to meet people whilst keeping up with their studies? 69% of you said yes, with 24% responding no and 7% opting not to answer this one.

On the other hand, it seems like most of you aren’t blaming Imperial entirely for any dissatisfaction – 58% don’t think their sex life (or lack thereof) has impacted on their level of student satisfaction.

23% of students felt positively about Imperial’s influence on their satisfaction, whilst only 16% thought that their sex life at Imperial had a negative impact.

Finally we wondered whether anything else is affecting your sex lives here, so we asked “do cultural and/or religious reasons affect your sex life?”. A huge 83% of you responded ‘no’, and 8% ‘no, but my family would be mad if they found out’.

However 3% of you don’t believe in any sort of sexual activity before marriage, while 1% only want to engage in certain types of sexual activity before marriage and 4% only want to have sexual activity in a long-term relationship.