How hard is it to steal a mascot? Apparently not hard if it’s the ICSM one! At least, so suggest reports of the theft of the Phoenix from inside the depths of Charing Cross Hospital earlier this week.

Our correspondent can confirm rumours that a crack team of six first year physicists (the Physsix) successfully struck the heart of the Medics’ Union with a stealthy theft of the Phoenix from inside the ICSM office itself last Monday. Initial reports suggest that they met with minimal resistance, easily smuggling the entire costume (minus the feet, already possessed by RCSU) back to campus. A mysterious YouTube video later surfaced, where a masked figure named Ragbinhead outlined the RCSU/RAG collaboration’s demands. This distressing video showed ‘Mr Phoenix’ bound and gagged in a dark room, and required donations to ICU RAG as well as the prostration of the ICSM Committee at the feet of the RAG Committee and the pieing of the ICSM RAG chair. Our correspondent can also reveal that the Medics’ faculty will be required to send out an email explaining the superiority of ICU RAG Week over ICSM RAG week.

Should the demands be met, it is thought that the four components of MrPhoenix will be retrieved from their locations around campus and returned. Should they not be; the four components may well become six…