Two of Imperial’s Faculty Unions, the Royal College of Science Union (RCSU) and the City & Guilds College Union (CGCU) have recently been involved with various “mascotry” activities over the last month. The activities began when the RCSU President Plabon Saba was escorted to the RCSU office in a slightly inebriated state before the start of term. One of the escorts, an engineer took advantage of the RCSU President’s state and was able to remove the RCSU mascot, Theta the Thermometer, from the office. Several days later the RCSU received a note from CGCU attached to a bag containing a rubber bolt with the message: “This is the closest you will get this year”. Eventually the CGCU sent a list of ransom demands to RCSU shortly before the Freshers’ Fair including the donation of £350 to RAG, for the RCSU President to take part in the CGCU “slave auction” and for the RCSU to advertise the CGCU Welcome Dinner on social media. During the Freshers’ Fair the CGCU antagonised the RCSU by sending people over to their stall to enquire about the whereabouts of Theta. However, towards the end of the event a large group of RCSU Exec committee members approached the CGCU table in order to steal the CGCU’s Spanner and Bolt mascots. The CGCU stand was only attended by two members of CGCU which allowed the RCSU to use the “outnumbering” rule whereby if one party outnumbers the other by a ratio of four-to-one the smaller party has to hand over their mascot voluntarily. RCSU’s list of demands included a £500 donation to RAG (initially £750), a Faculty email from CGCU apologising for the theft of Theta, for baiting the RCSU with the rubber bolt, recognising the superiority of the RCSU and apologising for their poor defence of the Spanner and Bolt during the Freshers’ Fair. The RCSU also demands that CGCU President Lejon Chua, the CGCU mascot bearers and the student who stole Theta are all pied for charity, and that the “thief ” also embarrasses himself at the next RCSU Bar Night. The standoff between the two Faculty Unions is slightly overshadowed by the long history behind the current version of Theta the Thermometer. The current version of the mascot, Theta IV has remained “inviolate” a whole (i.e. has never been stolen in one piece) since its creation in 1975 representing the longest period an Imperial mascot has ever been inviolate. However during the past history of the Theta mascot, if a version of Theta has been “violated” the RCSU committee has dunked the mascot in Hyde Park’s Round Pond and commissioned a new version so that the RCSU mascot stays “virgin”. Felix awaits the decision of the RCSU President.